I was raised in Mississippi and am the oldest of
three children. I have a bother who is four and a half years younger and a
half-sister who is eleven years younger than me. Being the first born, I feel
like I was always held to a different or higher standard than my brother and
sister. My brother was always pampered by my mother and my baby sister was
always coddled by my stepmom. The four traits I value most in life are responsibility,
reliability, preparation, and respect and they were adopted because I was the
oldest child of the family.
When I was twelve years old I made the decision to
move out of my mom’s house and move in with my dad, stepmom, and baby sister.
It wasn’t long before I began to develop my first valuable trait,
responsibility. My dad and stepmom both worked very long hours so when I
started driving I was asked, or as one of my old bosses used to say “voluntold”,
to do various things to care for my little sister, which included: picking her
up from pre-school, taking her to dance or gymnastics, picking her up and
taking her home, feeding her, and putting her into bed. I also worked after
school and there were some days where I would have to take her to work until
one of my parents could come and pick her up. Nosich (2012) describes point of
view as having a certain frame of reference or perspective. This is one area
where my parents and I did not see eye to eye.
As a kid in high school I saw this as a tremendous
burden. I once made the comment that I should not have to be made to take care
of her all of the time because she was not my child. I felt like a kid raising
another kid. Maybe in some ways I was. As I grew older I realized that while
having my help was great for my parents; it may have not been the sole
intention. There was also a lesson of responsibility to be found in the tasks
they gave me. My memory and their impression of the past differ on the amount
of time that I helped but I am glad that I was able to learn responsibility
earlier than most. It contributed to my work ethic and is still present in me
to this day.
As great as the lesson of responsibility was for me
it was also a burden on my relationship with my siblings. Because I had a job
in high school I was required to buy my own gas, pay my insurance, and other
related tasks. They were not held to the same standards. My brother did not get
a job until he was in his twenties and my little sister was handed everything
she wanted. I felt that it was unfair that they were not held to the same
responsibilities and this caused a bit of a disconnection for a while.
Responsibility helped to teach me the next value that
is essential to me, reliability. This is a trait that I grew into as I got
older. I see now that even though I did not appreciate taking care of my sister
as much as I did that my parents relied on me to do this for them. My girlfriend
has told me that I volunteer myself to help too often. This is something I
cannot get past because I cannot stand to let people down and that drives me to
be reliable at all times. When describing the theme of leading with consistency
Conchie and Rath (2008) prompted, “Think about how consistency influences the
relationships others are able to build with you. Are you always there in times
of need” (p. 143)? As recently as last week I used this trait as a form of servant
leadership. My dad has been planning to come visit me in Florida. He said that
he would be ready to get the plane tickets as soon as I was able to help him
order them. Although he can probably do this on his own, I know he relies on me
to lend a helping hand and to lessen the burden of the task. I believe this is
a perfect example of leading with consistency.
Another value that is significant to me is
preparation. I was only in the boys scouts for about a year as a child, but the
one thing I took away was the motto to always be prepared. Some may say that I
am obsessed with preparation. This obsession is really driven by a fear of
failure. I don’t want to fail myself or others. The week before this class
began I read the text and studied the APA writing style. With my habit of preparation I hold myself to
a very high standard and attempt to be perfect. Not wanting to make mistakes
and being very hard on myself when I do, I have become a very hard worker. In
describing the theme of leading with achiever Strengths based leadership states, “People strong in the achiever
theme have a great deal of stamina and work hard” (Conchie & Rath, 2008 p.
103). This describes me perfectly. I will continue to work until I am sure that
the work is complete.
The final trait that I find vital in myself is
respect. I vow to treat everyone equally no matter who they are. For as long as
I can remember I have believed that the janitor of the school should be treated
with the same respect as the principal and get upset when I see anyone treated
with injustice or disrespect. My belief is that we are all humans no matter the
race, gender, social class, or nationality so we should all be treated the
same.
The four values that I
hold near to my heart were rooted in my teenage years and helped shape who I am
today. I did not exactly agree with the fact that I took care of my sister more
than I would have like but I value the lesson of responsibility. It is a trait
that I still try to live by every day. I also have great pride in the fact that
I am seen as a reliable and generous person who will help out in time of need.
References:
Conchie, B., & Rath, T. (2008). Strengths based leadership. New York, NY: Gallup Press
Nosich, G. M. (2012). Learning to think things through: a guide to critical thinking across the curriculum (4th ed). Boston, MA: Pearson
No comments:
Post a Comment