Whether we like it or not, emotions tend to play a
pivotal role in our decision-making process. According to Shiv (2011), “emotion
plays a crucial role in the decision-making process by allowing us to resolve
decision conflicts” (0:50). How often do you find yourself making a decision
solely based on fear, happiness, or sadness? I often tend to let my emotions
take the wheel in the decision-making process. You could also say that I
usually wear my emotions on my sleeve and that tends to play a part in my decisions.
There are times at work where my coworkers will be able to read my face to
identify my emotions at that particular moment. I may be excited that I
finished a project or fearful of an upcoming meeting. Negative emotions can
suppress our decision-making process if we allow them to take control, but, on
the other hand, positive emotions may give us that extra push to make a
successful decision. This blog describes
two decisions that were engulfed in emotion. One decision was met with positive
emotion and confidence where the other was met with fear and less confidence.
I know it may sound cheesy, but one decision that
was met with overconfidence was when my girlfriend (Casey) and I decided to
move in together (and yes she does know I chose this decision to write about
this week). According to Lamia (2010), “When an
emotion is triggered in your brain, your
nervous systems responds by creating feelings in your body (what many people
refer to as a "gut feeling") and certain thoughts in your mind”
(para. 1). For some reason, my gut was telling me it was the
right thing to do and it would work out. According to Shiv (2011), “It is
decision confidence that gives rise to the passion that is associated with a
course of action that is being taken” (3:35). Let me give you a little bit of
background about the events that led up to our decision to move in together.
We first met at a Mississippi law firm in which we
were employed. As two of the younger employees, we quickly became friends. It
was about nine months before we started dating and things began to progress
quickly. We began going out several nights a week and spent nearly every night
together during the summer. At that point, I had an apartment and, because she
was still in college, she lived with her parents in a rental house. Her parents
were building a house that was supposed to be finished at the end of August
2005. But, in the last week of August 2005 Mississippi was hit by Hurricane
Katrina pushing the completion of their house a couple of weeks. Casey’s father
came to me and said that he and her mom were going to have to find a place to
stay for a couple of weeks and would appreciate if Casey could stay with me during
that time. I felt a bit of surprise to be asked this question by her father but
excitedly said yes. The aftermath of the storm created slow progress on their
house and they were not able to move in until November. At that point, we had
been living together for over two months and we made the decision to continue
our living arrangements.
Though I was thrilled about how well things were
going, there was still a level of anticipation and fear. I was not fearful of
our relationship or living together, but about my family’s reaction to hearing
that we were cohabitating. Living together unwed in Mississippi is not always
something that is easily accepted. I knew my dad would understand but was a bit
worried about my mom’s response. Luckily, my mom took the news okay and gave us
her blessing. In retrospect, this decision could have gone badly, but I was
confident it would have a positive outcome. It has been nearly twelve years
since that decision was made and I am still overjoyed about our choice.
There are also instances where I am extremely
unconfident about a decision I am making. One example that fits that
description was my choice to go back to school after thirteen years. I
have always suffered from a case of self-doubt. When I graduated college I was
fearful that I would never find a job. When I was hired I was scared that I
would not be able to learn or keep up with my work. This self-doubt followed me
to Florida and reared its ugly head once again when I was hired for my current
position. I did not think I could cut could it as an accountant and pictured
the day when I would be let go. Though self-doubt follows me around there is a
common thread in all of those examples- I did not fail and in fact did quite
well. So, when I made the decision to go back to school after many years I
continued to doubt myself and I am not sure why. I was able to overcome the
fear in the previous examples but the uncertainty was too great to feel
confident about school. According to Hoch, Kunreuther, and Gunther (2001), “There is now a
growing body of evidence that affect and emotions play an important role in
people’s decision process for choices when there are uncertain outcomes”
(p.269).
I remember feeling terror and was nearly petrified
when I began the enrollment process. I was never that great of a student in
high school. I graduated near the bottom of my class which is where a portion
of my self-doubt comes from. I began to find my niche in community college in
the accounting and math-based classes. But, my biggest fear when I began the
MSLD program was the writing aspect. The first paper I wrote in community
college received a grade in the 40’s and my teacher asked if I had ever heard
of spell or grammar check. I considered myself a dismal writer, so when I realized
that I would be asked to write several assignments a week the emotions of fear
and terror resurfaced. When I turned in the assignments for the first week in
MSLD 500, my emotions were now bordering on worry and trepidation. How would
the instructor like my assignments? What will my grades be on my assignments?
Will I receive another grade in the 40’s?
But a funny thing happened when I got my grades
back- I did well in week one, but the fear did not subside. The first several
weeks were very rough and I fought each day with the decision to give up on my
journey. I could not sleep and remember losing weight due to the overall fear
and dread the decision of going back to school was causing me. The week that
nearly did me in was week five. I had never attempted a literature review or
annotated bibliography and knew I would fail. I honestly contemplated dropping
the class up to the moment of the deadline, but I am glad I didn’t because that
would have been a mistake I would have regretted.
Last year, I attended the graduation ceremony at
ERAU where I had the pleasure of meeting Dr. Matt Earnhardt. If it was not for
Dr. Earnhardt, my girlfriend, and other classmates I may have made a poor
choice and ended my pursuit of my Master’s degree. Dr. Earnhardt was great
about emailing me a couple of times a week to check on me during the infancy of
my program to calm me down and talk me off the ledge. My girlfriend was there
to help me center my emotions as I tried to find myself in the education
process. And, my classmates were there to bounce ideas off of and pick each
other up as we were all at the beginning of a difficult journey. As I look back at my decision to begin school
I feel joyous. I still have a bit of self-doubt and fear each time I start a
class, but am able to handle the fear and turn it into a positive. What a
difference a year can make! I am now finishing my eighth of twelve classes (so
I guess I am 2/3 a Master) and have learned so much about myself. Who would
have known that I enjoy writing (most of the time)? I am so happy that the fear
and dread I felt did not consume me and cause me to decide to quit. I cannot
imagine the negative effects it would have had on me.
References
Hoch, S., Kunreuther, H., & Gunther, R. (2001). Wharton on making decisions. John Wiley
& Sons, Inc.
Lamia, M. C. (2010). Like it or not, emotions will drive the decisions
you make today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/intense-emotions-and-strong-feelings/201012/it-or-not-emotions-will-drive-the-decisions-you
Shiv, B. (2011,
November 7). Brain Research at Stanford: Decision Making. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRKfl4owWKc
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