I am an introvert who tries to avoid conflict at all
cost. There have been instances where I have chosen to give in rather than disclose
that my opinion or reasoning conflicted with another person. I am a peaceful
person who tries to treat everyone with respect, so I generally have a conflict
with the idea of conflict. Though I do not like conflict, I have learned that
giving in and running away from it is not always the healthiest way to deal
with a part of life that will occur as we interact with one another. So, there
are times where I have stood up for myself and my values creating a conflict.
An example at work comes to mind.
First, let me lay out a little background. After
college, I was hired as an accounting clerk at a local law firm in Mississippi.
After about four and a half years of working for this business, my girlfriend
and I decided to move to Florida (I use the word girlfriend loosely as we have
been together for over twelve years). After several months of searching, I was
offered a position as an accountant for a local college. As an individual who
suffered from low self-esteem, being offered the position of an accountant was
huge for me and I did not want to do anything to take away from the
opportunity, especially since company policy was to place new employees on a
sixty-day probationary period.
I apologize for the mundane topic of conversation
but I must give you a little background on our accounting system and the breakdown
of revenue donations. As the college receives donations, they are placed into
different divisions such as fundraising, administration, scholarships, programs,
or capital. About a month after I started, I was working on the Board reports trying
to produce a chart for the quarterly revenues. The former Controller came to my
desk to check on me and see how everything was going. They then asked me to do
something that blindsided me then and still gives me chills some nine years
later, which is where the conflict began. They decided to fill me in on the
previous Board meeting and told me that the Board was questioning the low
number of program donations. So, they asked me to move a portion of the revenue
that was received for capital into the programs ‘bucket.’ As a new employee, I
did not want to seem insubordinate, but I also did not want to break any
ethical values that I held, so I held an attitude of resolution (Levine, 2009).
Levine (2009) stated that dialogue is an important
piece of conflict negotiation, so I tried to tell my side of the story and how
I felt about the request. The main issue
in this conflict was that I felt like I was not being heard. When I laid out my
side of the story, which included my concerns, the Controller simply blew them
off. They said that we are not inflating or deflating revenue so we are really
not doing anything improper or illegal. They said that we were simply
redistributing the revenue while the total remained unaltered. Levine (2009)
hinted that conflict resolution tends to shut down when one person views the
conflict as winning or losing. Both parties must see the conflict through the
eyes of resolution. I do not believe the Controller was attempting to resolve
the conflict as their line of thinking was one of winning. According to Adams
(2015), they had the idea that they held the power in the conflict so they
would win and I would lose. Because the Controller did not share my attitude of
resolution, the Cycle of Resolution, according to Levine (2009), was not completed
as we did not get current and complete or reach a new agreement in principle.
One of the reasons this conflict was never resolved
is because not only did I find what they were asking me to do wrong on a
professional level, I also found it wrong on an ethical level. According to
LaFollette (2007), some individuals make decisions based on principles alone
while the consequences of the decisions become moot. After a night of soul-searching,
I decided that I could not do what was being asked and a resolution to the
conflict would not be reached. I am not sure if she eventually adjusted the
revenue but I know this instance changed our relationship. In this situation,
the cost of conflict was much higher than I would have signed up for. This
conflict caused the trust to broken from both perspectives and did not allow a
great relationship to form. Unfortunately, this Controller was let go from the
company a couple of years later, so we never able to be very close.
Levine (2009) offered ten principles of new thinking
in regards to a conflict. I would like to analyze the conflict utilizing
several of the principles to determine if the outcome or cost of conflict would
have been altered. One of the principles offered by Levine (2009) was creating
a partnership. “People who are working
together often waste resources because they do not have a clearly articulated
vision of where they were going and how they would get there” (Levine, 2009, p.
53).This conflict lacked a partnership and this lacking created a blurry vision
of the finish line. We were both on separate pages and were not able to work
together to come up with a unified plan on how to resolve the issue. This lack
of partnership did not waste physical resources, but it did create a misuse of
resources because we did not create a strong bond. This individual had been in
the accounting field for over thirty years and could have been a great source
of information.
‘Becoming open’ is another useful principle that
Levine (2009) offered in conflict resolution. This is an action I attempted to
do in telling my side of the story, but for conflict resolution to take place,
the openness must be reciprocated by both parties. The former Controller did
not care about being open or creating a resolution as they were more concerned
with winning the conflict. I’ll admit
that I was not open to their line of thinking either. If openness and listening
would have taken place on both sides a resolution may have been reached.
Levine (2009) also stated that individual should not
only rely on intuition and feelings but also disclose these feelings. I
attempted to use intuition in the conflict resolution process. I let the other
party know that I did not believe the changes were something that should be
made. I tried to tell them that if the Board would like to see higher revenue
in the programs division then the Foundation should attempt to change their
agenda and try to raise more program dollars. All of my feelings and intuition
fell on deaf ears. If the other party would have been more amiable to let me
know their feelings and intuition then there is a good chance the conflict may
have ended differently.
Finally, Levine (2009) stated that individuals must
become ResponseAble when dealing with conflicts. In other words, they must take
charge and not avoid conflict. This is one principle in which I acted upon in
the described conflict. Though my action of becoming ResponseAble created the
conflict, I believe that it was a useful action. If I would have given in to
the request then I may have put myself in a professional hole not long after I
started at the company. I ran the risk of being disciplined for not acting upon
their request, but that is a decision I could have lived with. I’m not sure I
could have lived with my decision if I gave in to their wish.
References
Adams, M. (2015). Do you use power to resolve your conflicts. Retrieved
from
http://www.gordontraining.com/leadership/do-you-use-power-to-resolve-your-conflicts/#
LaFollette, H. (2007). The practice of ethics. Malden, MA: Blackwell
Levine, S.
(2009). Getting to resolution: Turning conflict into resolution. (2nd edition).
Williston, VT: Berrett-Koehler Publishers.
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