This week I had the privilege of watching the short
video entitled Tom Peter’s Leadership
Thoughts: Listening. In this video Peters (2009), discussed the fact that
the patient is the best source for a doctor to cure an ailment, however, on
average the doctor only allows the patient to speak for 18 seconds before
interrupting them with their thoughts. Eighteen seconds? There is a chance that
the patient has not described all of their symptoms if the doctor interrupts
after only 18 seconds. I know they are busy, but physicians should listen to
patients in order to create the best diagnosis. Physicians are not the only
group that should listen as leaders have a tendency to become 18-second
managers too.
Last night, my girlfriend asked if she could watch
the video with me because she enjoys learning new material and had not had the
opportunity to see this video. After watching the video, she told me an
instance that occurs every so often at work where she becomes an 18-second
manager. I began to wonder if I am guilty of being an 18-second manager. I
thought for a while and was not able to come up with a time that I was an 18-second
manager but thought of times where someone has been an 18-second manager to me.
About 45 minutes later, I was discussing a
completely different topic with my girlfriend. I asked her a question and as
she started to answer I began interjecting my thoughts on the subject. We both
stopped mid-sentence as alarms went off in my head. I realized that I had just become
an 18-second manager. Oh no, there are times when I am an 18-second manager! I
racked my brain less than an hour prior to this occurrence without coming up
with an example and there it was right in my face. My point is that most people
may not know they are guilty of being an 18-second manager- I know I didn’t.
Peters (2009) stated that most likely 7 out of 8 people do not know they act in
this way. Are there times when you are an 18-second manager? What can we do to
limit these occurrences? Peters (2009) said that the answer was simple-
listening before responding.
As I previously mentioned, I did recall an instance
in which I was the victim of an 18-second manager though I was not aware until
last night that was the name to describe their activities. As an accountant for
the Foundation, I deal regularly with the fundraising staff in the Foundation
and one individual has a habit of being an 18-second manager. There are times
where I will get a call questioning the activity on a report, how to run a
certain report, or why a student received a certain scholarship. These are
common questions associated with my work and I do not mind investigating the
activity to determine the answer. However, when asked these questions, I do
like to develop my thoughts and answer before the other individual shares their
thoughts.
A recent example took place when they asked me to
come over and take a look at a report that was being sent to the State of
Florida. They asked me why the report had such a drastic change from the
previous year. I sat and thought for a couple of seconds and as I was beginning
to answer they rattled off about five options of why they thought the report
had changed. I did not even have time to
develop a response before I was bombarded by multiple possibilities. I was not
able to give them my opinion before validating their opinions and discussing
why I do not think that they were causing the problem. I eventually told the
person I would think about it for a minute and get back with them. I went back
to my office and within maybe thirty seconds realized the issue. I do not
believe this individual is an 18-second manager on purpose. Maybe they are like
me and do not know that their actions can negatively affect both the situation
and the relationship.
McKay, Davis, & Fanning (2009) offered several
variables of clarifying language because we all experience a situation or the
world around us differently. A language pattern that could confine your message
is imposed limits. According to McKay et al. (2009) imposed limits are “words
or phrases that suggest you have no choice” (p. 112). A call or visit from this
individual usually starts with ‘I can’t determine how to…’ A better choice of
words would be ‘could you remind me how to run this report as I am having
trouble remembering?’ There are no limits that disallow this individual from
running the report so using the term can’t is inappropriate.
Another language barrier that is common for an 18-second
manager is mind reading. According to
Morin (2016), mind reading takes place when you make assumptions regarding how
another person thinks. There have been
multiple occurrences where this individual will say I know that you think data
is wrong because of the parameters or dates but I have already made sure they
are correct. In this case, I did not think the dates were incorrect, so
assuming that I did created beliefs that were untrue (McKay et al., 2009).
A third language barrier that is common is
presuppositions. According to Merriam-Webster (n.d.), the definition of
presupposition is “to require an antecedent in logical or fact” (n.p.). McKay
et al. (2009) offered a more understandable definition in stating that a
presupposition is a part of a statement that can only be true if the remainder
of the statement is true. For instance, if my coworker stated that I was
frustrated the last time she asked about a report, so she was hesitant to ask
this time, then a presupposition was used. This is a statement that has been
used by this coworker and I have clarified that I was not frustrated and do not
mind helping out when needed.
The history of my coworker being an 18-second
manager has negatively impacted our relationship in that I am now hesitant to
answer their calls. I feel bad not answering the calls but have discovered that
listening to their message and thinking about a solution is a better process than
dealing with the 18-second management. I am able to come up with a solution and
call her back which saves both time and energy.
My intention of this post was not to talk negatively
about my coworker. I am sure there are other 18-second managers in my
department, circle of friends, and even family.
Instead, it was to show how easily we can become 18-second managers. We
most likely all do it frequently or have done it at some point, so, we must
become better listeners before responding. Peters (2009) stated that we must practice
listening just like we would sports or a piano. I intend to become more
cognizant of when I and others around me are acting like 18-second managers.
Maybe I can use clarifying language to help them understand their actions.
References
McKay,
M., Davis, M., & Fanning, P. (2009). Messages:
The communication skills book. Oakland: New Harbinger Publications, Inc.
Merrima-Webster.
(n.d.). Presuppose. Retrieved from https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/presuppose
Morin, A. (2016). 9
mistakes that make you a bad listener. Retrieved from https://www.inc.com/amy-morin/9-bad-habits-that-prevent-you-from-being-a-good-listener.html
Peters, T. (2009). Tom Peter’s leadership thoughts:
Listening [Video File]. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwB7NAvKPeo
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