A641.7.3.RB- Appreciating your real self

According to McKee, Boyatzis, & Johnston (2008), resonant leaders have a precise sense of who they are which includes their strengths, weaknesses, and what they need to adjust in order to succeed. This week I had the opportunity to reflect on who I really am. This reflection included areas such as my social identities, strengths, weaknesses, roles, and taking a look at a lifeline depicting my important events and changes. Through this reflection, I learned several things about my ‘real self.’

In my working life, I realized that I have not changed jobs often. I began working at a barbecue restaurant at the age of 15 and kept that job until college. Throughout my college education, I worked sporadically at an Italian restaurant. After college, I became an accounts receivable clerk for a local law firm and I kept that job for four and a half years until I moved to Florida. After my move to Florida, I accepted my current job and have been employed for nearly ten years.

McKee, Boyatzis, & Johnston (2008) asked if, in looking at my work history, I noticed a pattern of leaving jobs due to boredom. As I pondered this question, I began to wonder why I do not have a habit of changing jobs due to boredom or the amount of time spent in a position. I realized that, though I was born in 1981, I approach work like a baby boomer. I feel a sense of loyalty to the organization and do not feel comfortable with change. According to Milligan (2015), baby boomers are motivated by long-term goals so they tend to stay with a company longer. This correlation makes sense because I have always said that I feel like a boomer in the body of a millennial. Some of my favorite music comes from the sixties and seventies, so having the same professional mind frame as baby boomer should not be a surprise to me.

In thinking back on the rhythms of my career, I also discovered the importance of working for resonant leaders. Not long after I began at my current organization, I was placed with a dissonant leader. This leader did not understand the importance of hope, compassion, and mindfulness and their leadership techniques began to not only wear me down but also I began to mimic this leadership style. I was dissonant at home, which led to substantial relationship problems. I was at a point where I was entering the sacrifice syndrome when, luckily, I was transferred to a leader who understood the importance of resonance. With the help of this leader, I started to gain my self-confidence and began approaching life and work in a different manner (McKee, Boyatzis, & Johnston, 2008). As I look back at this situation, I realized that I must attempt to be resonant so I do not create dissonant actions in my followers.

“Our social context has an enormous impact on our beliefs, actions, self-image, and image in others’ eyes” (McKee, Boyatzis, Johnston, 2008, p. 120). Isaken (2013) stated that an individual’s self is constructed by their social interactions with others. So, what social roles do I hold and how do they help to define my real self?

As I began to think about my social identities, I realized that I do not hold numerous social roles. I possess the normal social identities such as son, brother, uncle, boyfriend, friend, accountant, and graduate student. I am even the treasurer of the Professional Counsel at work. However, I do not hold some of the social identities that I discussed in describing my ideal self. I discussed how I wanted to make a difference in the world. In evaluating my ‘real self’, I realized that I am not currently a volunteer for Habitat for Humanity or a local shelter. I also do not donate time as a big brother in my community. In evaluating my social roles, I realized that there are gaps between my ideal and real self.

I also realized that the social roles I consider the most important revolve around my career and friends. I found that I consider the friendships that I have created important because I want to bring joy to the people in my life. I also discovered that my views on my social identities have undertaken a change in the last ten years.

Growing up in Mississippi, everything seemed to be one size fits all where social choices were almost made for you. In the area I grew up in the assembly line consisted of going to school, going to church each week (which I have nothing against and am not trying to degrade), going to one of the state universities, coming back to central Mississippi, getting married, and having children. Even your political party is chosen for at an early age! Anything different is considered unusual. However, moving to Florida helped me to understand both cultural and social differences and I began to grow.

One social identity that I would like to expand is my cultural impact at work. The leadership program and the recent evaluation of my ‘real self’ aided me in understanding that professional cultures can be altered in a positive way. I would like to be a key in helping to change the professional culture in my department.

While taking a look at my social relationships, I realized that my harmonious relationships are with friends and coworkers who share a pro-world and cultural mindset. I seem to have a more resonant relationship with individuals who also possess some of my values. Unfortunately, my values are not shared by the majority of my family members because they have been guided by a very particular take on the world which was developed in Mississippi. 

The discovery of my real self also taught me that I expend more energy in dissonant relationships because I try to honor my authentic self while not rocking the boat. I realized that I have to be careful of my actions in an effort not to create a more stressing relationship. I also realized that the three relationships that need my attention the most are on my mother’s side of the family.

In defining my true self, I also determined that my strengths are centered on ethics, fairness, and equality. Some of the strengths I listed were ethical, honest, kind, compassionate, equal, polite, and respectful. I realized that I see myself as an individual who attempts to create resonance. I want to be the positive part of someone’s day. I also thought about some of the things I try to avoid in my personal and professional life. I discovered that I dislike anything that is unethical, untrustworthy, or judgmental. Taking a quick moment to revisit my dissonant family relationships, I believe they revolve around judgments. I do not believe these judgments are intentional, in fact, I do not believe my family even knows they are occurring. However, the beliefs they have about what is right and what is wrong are considered judgments in my book.

Taking the time to evaluate my ‘real self’ taught me a great deal about me. I see now that I do not have a habit of changing jobs. Maybe after I finish my degree I’ll take a risk in an attempt to grow professionally. I also learned about my relationships with my coworkers, family, and friends. My strengths and situations I attempt to avoid were revealed. I feel like taking a look at my ‘real self’ can serve as a blueprint for determining the gaps between my ideal and real self. Now that I know the real me, I can begin to work towards my ideal self.

References

Isaken, J.V. (2013). The looking glass self: How our self-image is shaped by society. Retrieved from http://www.popularsocialscience.com/2013/05/27/the-looking-glass-self-how-our-self-image-is-shaped-by-society/

McKee, A., Boyatzis, R. & Johnston, F. ( 2008). Becoming a resonant leader. Boston, MA: Harvard Business School Publishing.

Milligan, R. S. (2016). Conflict and diversity associated with four generations in the workforce. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com.ezproxy.libproxy.db.erau.edu/docview/1780574382?accountid=27203

A641.5.3.RB- ICT at the team level

When I was a child, I played various team sports. One lesson shared with each team was ‘there is no I in team.’ I heard my coaches and parents say this multiple times but it did not sink in until I tried out for the eighth-grade basketball team. The coach stated that no matter how talented you think you are, you will not shine on this team. He stated that his team would work as a group, not a supporting cast. It was not until that moment that I understood the words I heard countless times in my life. Teams are stronger when they work together to accomplish a goal or win a game. This post will look at two teams that tell a different story. In 2015, the United States Women’s Soccer team became the first team to win three world cup championships (US Soccer, 2015). The United States Men’s Basketball team (known as the Dream team) struggled in the Olympics in both 2000 and 2004. The 2004 team lost to Puerto Rico in the opening game in one of the biggest upsets in Olympic basketball history (CNN, 2004).

Both teams were made up of the country’s best athletes in the sport, so why do the outcomes differ? According to Greggory (2017), two elements of a successful team are (a) creating a team chemistry that allows for success, and (b) sharing the accountability. This line of thinking goes back to the age-old statement about there being no I in team. Each member of the team must feel like they belong. They each must believe in both themselves and the team. Finally, they must try not to outshine the rest of the group. One thing about star basketball players is that they have a huge belief in themselves. There is a chance that they all think they are the best and want to prove it. There are times when it is difficult to let go of our egos and in a team game, one’s ego can be the key to defeat. The women, on the other hand, were able to create a team chemistry that was utilized to be successful. To be successful, teams must create team chemistry but also initiate an intentional change.

Akrivou, Boyatzis, & McLeod (2006) stated that one of the key principles of group development through ICT is the emergence of shared ideas or a dream. What as a team do we want to accomplish together? There is not a doubt in my mind that both groups of athletes wanted to create a winning dynamic and celebrate a tournament championship. The men envisioned themselves wearing a gold medal and the women saw themselves winning the World Cup. However, there is most likely one difference in these two visions. I believe the men saw themselves shining and winning the gold where the women saw themselves sharing the win along with the accountability. One thing I have realized in watching sports throughout my life is how quickly finger pointing can destroy a team dynamic.  

Another key principle in successful group development, according to Akrivou et al. (2006), is the exchange of feedback and opinions among group members. I see both of these teams as high-performance teams. According to Folkman (2016), team leaders must communicate the vision and direction in order for a high-performance team to remain successful. Women tend to be much better when it comes to feedback and communication than men. The women more than likely shared feedback during practice and team meetings whereas they NBA players relied on their talent to drive their success. Talent is a major part of success in an individual sport, but in a team sport, communication and feedback play a major role in the success of the team.

According to Akrivou et al. (2006), positive emotions create intrinsic motivation and group development. Let us revisit the team missions we discussed earlier in the blog. Both teams more than likely had positive emotions toward the outcome of the team. If you are not positive that the team will perform well then you have already lost the game. However, in order for a team to reach the pinnacle of success, they must have positive emotions as a team. Once again this concept is centered on the definition of a team. Each member of the team must believe that they will perform well together not individually. I would argue that only thinking about oneself as a member of a team will create negative emotions. According to Akrivou et al (2006), “Strong negative emotion at the group level is seen as hindering the group task, or the formation of a shared identity” (p. 696). The women’s team was devoted to the team where the men were still wrapped up in their ego and individual performances.  

Another difference in the teams may lie in how the teams were developed. According to Mark Cuban (2004), the 2004 Olympic team consisted of various all-stars and resembled nothing close to a unified or cohesive team. Cuban (2004) went on to say that basketball is a team sport and that in any team sport unity and cohesion are keys to a successful outcome. On the other hand, the US Women’s team usually does not consist of pure all-stars but, instead, a cohesive team that plays well together. According to Foer (2011), the 2011 US Women’s team did not have the star power of the 1999 team but played with grit, heart, and cohesion.

Akrivou (2006) stated that teams must be successful in practice. The women’s team makes a point to be together for long periods of time to work on teamwork and practice. On the other hand, according to Cuban (2004), the 2004 team was quickly placed together and did not have the time to practice.

One of the best lessons I’ve learned about teamwork was shared by the assistant baseball coach at Daytona State College. I attended a leadership meeting one day and the coach told a story about two teams he was a part of a college athlete. The first team consisted of various high school superstars. This team was ranked in the top 10 in the preseason and the season came to a disappointing end when they lost the first two games of the college baseball tournament. The other team he played for was not made up of superstars. This team had a different fate. They meshed as a team and their season ended one game shy of the college world series.

In her 2015 TED Talk, Margaret Heffernan described an experiment that took place to determine the productivity in chickens through six generations. The experiment included two groups. One group consisted of average chickens and the other was a group of super productive chickens. The result was that the average chickens were productive six generations later where the ‘superchickens’ were now down to three chickens as they had pecked each other to death (Heffernan, 2015). I believe that the Women’s team resembled the average chickens who worked well together whereas the dream team represented the ‘superchickens’ that had held each other down and created an unsuccessful team.

Personally, I believe that teams are more successful when one person is not a superstar or ‘superchicken’ as Heffernan (2015) stated. When I am placed in a group at work, my supervisors attempt to put a team together that will communicate, listen, and work together as a high-performance team. I have seen instances where department stars were placed together that ended badly due to ego and disconnected thoughts and attitudes. I’ve learned that teamwork is always the best answer to completing a mission as a group.

References

Akrivou, K., Boyatzis, R. E., & McLeod, P. L. (2006). The evolving group: Towards a prescriptive theory of intentional group development. The Journal of Management Development, 25(7), 689-706. doi:http://dx.doi.org.ezproxy.libproxy.db.erau.edu/10.1108/02621710610678490

CNN.com (2004). Dream team beaten by Puerto Rico. Retrieved from http://www.cnn.com/2004/SPORT/08/15/olympics.basketball/

Cuban, M. (2004). What’s wrong with team USA basketball? Retrieved from http://blogmaverick.com/2004/08/15/whats-wrong-with-team-usa-basketball/

Foer, F. (2011). What makes the US Women’s soccer team truly exceptional. Retrieved from https://newrepublic.com/article/92064/world-cup-soccer-mia-hamm-abby-wambach

Folkman, J. (2016). 5 ways to build a high-performance team. Retrieved from https://www.forbes.com/sites/joefolkman/2016/04/13/are-you-on-the-team-from-hell-5-ways-to-create-a-high-performance-team/#461813137ee2

Gregory, G. (2017). Why all-star teams fail: Strategies to get everyone to play together. Retrieved from http://www.reliableplant.com/Read/11603/why-all-star-teams-fail-strategies-to-get-everyone-to-play-toger

Heffernan, M. (2015). Forget the pecking order at work [TED Women]. Retrieved from https://www.ted.com/talks/margaret_heffernan_why_it_s_time_to_forget_the_pecking_order_at_work

US Soccer. (2015). World Champions: USA wins 2015 Women’s FIFA World Cup. Retrieved from https://www.ussoccer.com/stories/2015/07/05/21/19/150705-wnt-v-jpn-game-story

A641.4.3.RB- Tipping Points of Emotional Intellegence

Have you ever experienced a moment either professionally or personally where things begin to change? Maybe there was an instance where you began to really enjoy the company of your favorite coworker. Maybe your boss gave you very bad advice and you began to think differently about them. Have you ever had a conversation or moment with your leader that began to positively change your opinion?  In borrowing a term from complexity theory Boyatzis (2006) stated that these moments are known as tipping points.

Boyatzis (2013) stated that change is not a process that continuously occurs and instead a change occurs with tipping points. So, what is a tipping point? According to Gladwell (2017), “The tipping point is that magic moment when an idea, diagnosis, trend, or social behavior crosses a threshold, tips, and spreads like wildfire” (Gladwell, 2017, para.1). In other words, a tipping point is an instance where a change begins to take place. My girlfriend is a huge fan of Taylor Swift who was responsible for a tipping point in social behavior. Taylor Swift began wearing dresses and cowboy boots in her music videos which created a trend that began to spread like wildfire (Gladwell, 2017). In our personal lives, the tipping point can be created by negative or positive emotions.

Boyatzis, Rochard, & Taylor (2015) described both the positive emotional attractor (PEA) and negative emotional attractor (NEA). According to Boyatzis et al. (2013), the PEA is described by positive emotions such as optimism and resonance. On the other hand, the NEA incorporates negative emotions such as fear, anger, and dissonance (Boyatzis, et al., 2015). I began to think about times that I have experienced a tipping point in my professional life and determined that I have experienced tipping points encouraged by both negative and positive emotional attractors.

A couple of years ago, I was included in an office game of musical chairs which ended in me being assigned to a new supervisor. The previous supervisor was someone who could be described as dissonant. This individual liked to micro-manage while also creating a culture that did not include autonomy. This type of leadership affected me negatively by creating stress and reducing my self-confidence. This particular leader also began to cause me to create errors and I began to work much harder to make sure that no mistakes were made. However, I created some sort of vicious circle where the fear of making mistakes led to me making more mistakes. I began to feel like I was getting trapped in the sacrifice syndrome. Boyatzis & McKee (2005) described sacrifice syndrome as withstanding great sacrifice for long periods of time without receiving any benefits. My stress level was high which caused me to also be dissonant. I would be lying through my teeth if I said I did not appreciate the changes in the office.

The tendency to display learned helplessness continued to follow me to my new supervisor. For the first several weeks, I asked them how they would like reports to be presented, I would check with them before making journal entries, and I would ask them questions regarding my general work.  About a month after the transition I went in to ask a question and they requested me to sit so we could have a conversation. They told me that I had been dealing with this area of the college longer than they have and they trusted my judgment. They said that if there were mistakes or if they preferred a report a certain way then they would let me know. They told me that I was doing a great job and that they trusted me.

Boyatzis (2013) stated that individuals who move us into the PEA assist us in opening up our world of possibilities or believe and have confidence in us. My new supervisor showed that she trusted my decisions. This tipping point helped me begin to feel more comfortable in my job. It helped me drop the self-doubt and learned helplessness and I began to be more confident on a daily basis. In this instance, I am not sure I would do anything differently. I attempted to take her positive compliments and use them in a way to help build not only me but my production at work, which I believe I was able to do.

As noted earlier, Boyatzis (2013) mentioned that change is not continuous but happens through these tipping points. The tipping point with my leader created a positive change in our relationship. However, there have been tipping points which had the adverse effect and began to create a less positive relationship.

Several years ago I worked on a report that had to be presented to the State of Florida. I meticulously worked on the report for weeks and sent it to my supervisor for review and approval a week before the deadline. She and I spent time verifying that all of the numbers were correct before it was sent to the department that was responsible for presenting the data. My supervisor then went over the data with the Executive Director of the department and no changes were made. I chalked it up to another successful year and moved on with my work.

Fast forward to the day before the reports are due. On this day my supervisor was out sick and I received a call from the Vice President of my department asking me to come to their office. I arrive to find the assistant director of the department that was responsible for the report also in the office. He then goes on a rant about how the report is wrong. He stated that the numbers were wrong and the report was pulling the incorrect data. He also was irate that we were shorting the department potential revenue to be matched by the state. I assured him that the numbers had been verified by multiple accountants and that they were correct. His anger did not subside which caused me to have negative emotional attractors.

My Vice President eventually asked me to correct the numbers because he was not going to back down. I corrected the numbers and the report was sent to the state, but looking back at the event, this was a tipping point wrapped in negative emotions. I was so angry at how the situation unfolded. I felt anxiety and disgust knowing that the report had been turned in incorrectly despite my warning. Boyatzis (2013) stated that we tend to remember negative emotions for a much longer amount of time. In this case, the statement is 100% true. I remember the anger and fear I felt that day. I remember going to the doctor after work and being so frustrated that they said if my blood pressure did not go down that I would be sent to the hospital (which did help to calm me down).

This instance also served as a tipping point in the relationship I had with the assistant director as our relationship was tainted from this point. When my supervisor returned, she was made abreast of the situation and spoke to the assistant director. It was determined that the numbers for the report were correctly compiled the first time. She spoke with the representative for the State and was able to submit the correct report. The thing I remember the most about this situation was the sadness created by the lack of trust. Looking back on the situation, I let my negative emotions get the best of me. Boyatzis and McKee (2005) stated that mindfulness and compassion are two keys to resonance. I wish I would have remained mindful and compassionate throughout this example. If so, I may have avoided the negative tipping point.

References

Boyatzis, R. (2006). Using tipping points of emotional intelligence and cognitive competencies to predict financial performance of leaders. Psicothema, 18(1), 124-131. Retrieved from http://www.psicothema.com/psicothema.asp?id=3287

Boyatzis, R. (2013). 4.2 Module 4.2 the positive (PEA) and negative (NEA) emotional attractors [Video File]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFiTIzGPvH4

Boyatzis, R. & McKee, A. (2005). Resonant leadership. Boston, MS: Harvard Business School Publishing.

Boyatzis, RE., Rochford, K, & Taylor, SN. (2015). The role of the positive emotional attractor in vision and shared vision: Toward effective leadership, relationships, and engagement. Frontiers in Psychology, 6 (670). Doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2015.00670

Gladwell, M. (2017). The Tipping Point. Retrieved from gladwell.com: http://gladwell.com/the-tipping-point/

A3.3.RB- Working with EI- getting results- Trey McNeil

One key to effective leadership is emotional intelligence. According to Tracy (2017), emotional intelligence is the capability to manage and understand emotions. As leaders, we must be able to manage our own emotions while grasping the emotions of our followers or fellow co-workers. Goleman (2012) discussed the importance of the four dimensions of emotional intelligence which include (a) self-awareness, (b) self-management, (c) empathy, and (d) social skills. Each dimension plays an important role in becoming emotionally intelligent. Personally, I view some of the dimensions as strengths and others as weaknesses. 

According to Goleman (2012), self- awareness is the ability to know what we feel and understand why we feel the way we do. According to Lipman (20145), an effective leader must be aware of how their actions and emotions affect other. Self-awareness is important because if you are not in tune with yourself then two things could happen. First, not understanding your feelings could lead to poor self-management which, as a leader, could set a tone of negativity or dissonance. Also, if you are not in tune with your own emotions then how will you ever accomplish being in tune with the emotions of your followers and co-workers. We must learn how to be self-aware as a link to building a trusting and empathetic relationships with our followers.

I feel like I have had decent success at becoming cognizant of my emotions. I am usually able to get in tune with myself and understand how I am feeling at any given time. However, according to Goleman (2012), understanding how I feel does not make me self-aware. I must also understand why I feel the way I feel. This is one step that I must work to develop. There are instances when I feel angry, perturbed, or annoyed and cannot put my finger on the reason behind the feeling. In times of positive emotions, not knowing why I feel happy is not a big deal. But not understanding why I have negative feelings (irritated or agitated) about a situation, could lead to these feelings getting stronger and possibly spreading to others. Have you ever been around someone who is angry? Though you were not angry, you may begin to feel a bit annoyed by the situation. This is because emotions and feelings are easily spread (Boyatzis & McKee, 2005). Therefore, I must learn to pay more attention to the cause of my emotions.

Self- awareness, at times, has played a positive role in my professional life. I once worked for a very dissonant leader. They were known to spread negative emotions and take credit for the work of their followers. One day this leader came to my desk and had very stern words to say about a report I had delivered at their request. They said the numbers were wrong and the report had the incorrect dates. Basically, everything about the report was incorrect in their eyes. This confrontation angered me! I looked at my email and confirmed that I ran the report correctly. I wanted to go talk to them but realized that my anger would be contagious and it would be good for nobody, so I convinced myself not to visit their office. The next morning they came to apologize and admitted they were incorrect in scolding me. If I was not aware of my emotions then I would have made the situation much worse and it could have negatively affected my career.

Self-management is the ability to handle our distressing emotions so they do not negatively affect our production (Goleman, 2012). I feel that I do not always succeed in handling my emotions. I know that emotions tend to get the best of all of us but I must work to be more aware of the negativity my undesirable emotions could create. 

For example, the other day I watched a college football game that created a whirlwind of emotions. The final result was my favorite football team blowing a 24 point lead. Over the last couple of years, I have not gotten angry at sports as I realize that they serve as a mode of entertainment. However, on this day I did get angry. When my girlfriend got home, she did not even have to ask how the game went as she could tell by my poor mood. After a couple of minutes, she told me that my bad mood was beginning to rub off on her, which made me realize the effects of my poor self-management.

Though this example took place home, it must serve as a learning experience. If this would have taken place at work then it could have been a hindrance on my career. Nobody wants to be around an individual who spreads negative feelings. My girlfriend told me I reminded her of Eeyore the other day because my negative feelings about the game opened the floodgates of negativity about everything. I must be careful and make sure I suppress the negative emotions as a leader. Goleman (2012) reminded us that we should work to manage the distressing emotions while attuning to the positive emotions.

Empathy is the ability to know what another individual is feeling and adjust your actions to these feelings (Goleman, 2012). This is the dimension of emotional intelligence in which I feel I fail at most consistently, which really opens up my eyes. I have proclaimed in many posts that I feel that people are the most important factor of a company. I have stated that leaders need to pay attention to their followers in an effort to be efficient. According to Goleman (2007), individuals are wired to show empathy and help others, but we fail to remain empathetic because our focus is in the wrong place. Most of the time, our focus is on us and our complete self-absorption (Goleman, 2007).

One example displaying my lack of empathy occurred when I worked at a restaurant in high school. On one particularly cold day, one of the managers sent me to the nearby grocery store to pick up a couple of supplies. This is a trip I made many times and would usually walk but decided against it this time due to the weather. I found the supplies and as I was checking out, I realized another one of the managers was a couple of people behind me in line. We began to talk and he said that he walked over but was uncomfortable due to the cold. I told him I decided to drive this time. I paid for the groceries, waved at him, got in my car, and drove back to work.

 It was not until I saw him come in the back door shivering that I realized what I had done. I was so caught up in me that I did not offer to give him a ride. I did not comprehend that he said that he walked in the cold. I did not listen enough to show empathy. I apologized profusely and he took it well, but I think about that instance often. I think about how easy it would have been to get out of my own head and think about someone other than me. Though this leader took my lack of empathy well this time, I may not be so lucky in future instances. My absent empathy could lead to negative consequences as a leader. So, how do I learn from this mistake and try to be more empathetic?

Goleman (2007) stated that we must begin to pay attention to the difference between focusing on ourselves and focusing on others. I must begin to work on focusing on others. Though I think about my previous example often, it did not serve as a great learning experience. I still have a flaw of missing cues from others because I get so wrapped up in me. There are times where I will have an interaction with a friend or coworker and realize that I was not empathetic after the conversation has taken place. I will slow down and think about our exchange and then realize my lack of empathy. As Goleman (2007) stated, all it takes is the simple act of noticing.

Goleman (2012) stated that the learned relationships or social skills consist of combining the other three dimensions together to develop relationships. I have always considered myself lacking in the department of social skills. I have always felt a bit uncomfortable in social situations. In the past, I blamed my lack of social skills on my introverted personality. However, this week has taught me that these absent skills may be linked to my lack of emotional intelligence.

I admit that I am not proficient in three of the four skills. I see each dimension as a stepping stone to emotional intelligence and because I often unconsciously lack empathy then I cannot claim that I have great social skills. Though I claim to have a deficiency in social skills, they can be improved. Learning how to manage my emotions will help to increase my empathy which could increase my social skills. As Goleman (2007) reminded us, we must learn to pay full attention to the individuals around us in an effort to become more emotionally intelligent.

References

Boyatzis, R. & McKee, A. (2005). Resonant leadership. Boston, MA: Harvard Business School Publishing.

Goleman, D. (2007). Why aren’t we more compassionate? [Video File]. Retrieved from https://www.ted.com/talks/daniel_goleman_on_compassion

Goleman, D. [Big Think]. (2012). Daniel Goleman introduces emotional intelligence [Video File]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7m9eNoB3NU

Lipman V. (2015). Why the best leaders are self-aware. Retrieved from https://www.forbes.com/sites/victorlipman/2014/09/16/why-the-best-leaders-are-self-aware/#18c70fd42f02

Tracy. B. (2017). Why emotional intelligence is indispensable for leaders. Retrieved from  https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2017/10/30/why-emotional-intelligence-is-indispensable-for-leaders/#1b7800ed275b