On April 11, 2015, my
girlfriend and I were heading home from running errands. It was just a regular
Saturday afternoon, but a real world experience was soon to happen that would
change my views on many things. My girlfriend was driving my car when all of
the sudden we were hit on the passenger side door and thrown into the ditch.
She noticed we were going to get hit, so she was able to start to move toward
the ditch to lessen the impact, which in all honesty probably saved me from
serious injury. Once we got our bearings together, we began to get out of the
car to see what happened with the other driver. When we stepped out of the car,
we noticed something peculiar; there was no other car. The other driver left
the scene of the accident and was later caught by the police. The accident was
traumatic, but I learned more from the aftermath of the crash.
When the gentleman
finally pulled over after leading the police on a short chase, his blood
alcohol level was over two times the legal limit. His charges included two
counts of driving under the influence (because he ran from both the Sherriff’s
department and state police), leaving the scene of an accident involving injury
because the airbag burned my arm, and resisting arrest. Case closed, right? Bad
guy ran from police and got caught resulting in punishment, right? One of the
many lessons I learned from this incident is that not everyone has to answer
for their consequences. In the end, the driver spent one night in jail and had
to take a drug and alcohol class.
In his interview,
George (Soundnet, 2012) says that an individual has to process real-world experiences
through reflection. In the following seven months, I had plenty of time for
reflection. After we had discussed the event in the initial police report, we
got calls from the victim’s advocate, my insurance company, my girlfriend’s
insurance company, his insurance company, and the state attorney. We had ample
opportunity to reflect and relive the incident.
Before the dismissal of the case, I often reflected
about decisions. I pondered how the poor decisions affected the outcome. This
man did not have to make the decision to drive, and he did not have to run once
he wrecked his car into mine. I have always been a cautious and calculated
person, but since the wreck, I look at everything on a deeper level. At work, I
try to think things through to limit the mistakes made.
One aspect I contemplate
about often since the wreck is accountability. This gentleman never showed up
to any of the depositions we attended. He never contacted us to apologize. On
the night it happened, I asked the officer who eventually caught him if he ever
asked if we were okay, which was no by the way. We were very adamant with the
state attorney that we would like a letter of apology since the gentleman
showed no remorse. After he had spoken with the defense attorney, he said that
if we dropped the charges, we each would receive a letter of apology. Somehow,
the gentleman got his lawyer to get that waived too. He took no accountability
for any of the actions he made.
Since I started the
MSLD program, I have thought about this often from a leader’s standpoint. In a
company, this type of behavior would not simply be swept under the rug. An act
of negligence and lack of consciousness can lead to the demise of not only a
leader but the entire organization. Unethical behavior can be cancer to an
organization. The actions of Bernie Madoff and the Enron scandal are a perfect
example. I know that mistakes are going to happen because nobody is perfect. My
leadership concept has changed in that once a mistake is made accountability
must exist. Most of the time a mistake that is not dealt with or accounted for
will cause more problems.
Another part of the
wreck that bothered me was my lack of control. Northouse (2016) referred to a
follower’s desire or locus of control. A couple of weeks ago I took Rotter’s
locus of control test to determine that I had an internal locus of control. The
lack of control that I had following the wreck was hard on me. I always had the
mind-frame that I can control what happens in my life, but I could do nothing
in this situation. We tried everything, but it was evident he was going to beat
the charges.
George (soundnet,
2012) also stated that the inner work process involves seeking honest feedback
from others. My girlfriend and I had many honest conversations regarding our
opinions of the accident. We discussed how we see drivers differently now. We
discussed how angry we are when we see a person texting while driving, or
cutting around cars on the interstate like they were practicing for the Daytona
500. We discussed how unfair it was that we had to relive the wreck to multiple
insurance companies and lawyers because we happened to be in the wrong place at
the wrong time. The thing we discussed the most was how lucky we were that she
slowed down and partially got out of his way in time. There were multiple soul-searching
conversations regarding what we learned from the incident.
When we realized that
this guy was going to get off, we sought the opinions of our parents regarding
filing a lawsuit. Several lawyers contacted us promising they could win our
case. We decided to take our lessons and let it go.
The most important
lesson I took from the accident was the lack of injustice in the world. As a
child, I learned that good things happen to good people, but that is not always
the case. I realized that as much as I want the world to be fair and just, it
will never be. I recently saw a picture on the internet showing a lion. The
caption read: if you expect the world to be fair with you because you are fair,
you’re fooling yourself. That’s like expecting the lion not to eat you because
you decided not to eat him.
This picture led me
to strike a balance between the unjust cut-throat world as it is and the world
I want it to be. What can I do as a leader to make a positive change?
References
[More
than soundnet]. (November 1, 2012). Harvard's Bill George: Inner Work for Authentic Leadership. [Video File]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmPu2LQ84ts
Northouse, P.G. (2016). Leadership:
Theory and practice (7th ed). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage
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