One of the reasons I chose the MSLD program at Embry-Riddle
was because of the effects it had on my girlfriend. She is a recent graduate of
the program, and I was able to witness her transformation first-hand. I saw her
progress as a leader, follower, and person in general. The conversations at
dinner about the leadership concepts and theories she was studying that
particular week would always draw my interest. Also, I have had some leaders in
the past that failed to be effective causing me to wonder what they were doing
wrong. What could I do more effectively if I was a leader? When I began the program a little over three
months ago, I hoped the program would change me, and it already has is several
ways.
The program is showing me the value in myself which I may
have never discovered. Whetten & Cameron stated, “What we value, how we
feel about ourselves, how we behave toward others, what we want to achieve, and
what we are attracted to are all strongly influenced by our emotional
intelligence, cognitive style, orientation towards change, and core
self-evaluation” (p. 48). I do not
believe my values have been altered by the program, as I have had unwavering
values for as long as I can recall.
I also do not believe my cognitive style has changed since
beginning the program. According to Whetton & Cameron (2016), the three
types of cognitive change are the knowing style, planning style, and creating
style. I have always had the trait of preparedness, so the planning style
resonates with me. As an accountant, I also rely on the knowing style which
emphasizes facts and data. During the program, I hope to grow into the creating
style. I have noticed a transformation in the areas of emotional intelligence,
attitudes toward change, and core self-evaluation.
Whetten and Cameron (2016) defined emotional intelligence as
“the ability to diagnose, understand, and manage emotional cues” (p. 49). Before
entering the program, I had the tendency not to pick up on others emotional
cues and failed to regulate and control my emotions. As embarrassing as it is
to admit, I was the person who would let me emotions get the best of me while
watching a football game. I would get frustrated and yell at the TV about how I
felt regarding a play call, interception, or missed tackle (as if Drew Brees or
Sean Payton could hear me, or even cared).
Whetten & Cameron said that with practice, emotional
intelligence could be enhanced. Over the
last couple of months, I feel that I have enhanced my emotional intelligence
and am no longer as emotionally awkward as I once was. I have begun to respond
correctly to the emotions of others, though I still need to practice to
transform my emotional intelligence completely.
I have always had a difficult time with change. I struggle
with changes as small as one of my TV shows getting canceled, a process
changing at work, or a new stop light added to my work route. Stability has always been my friend because
the alternative can be uncomfortable. Tolerance of ambiguity refers to “the
extent to which individuals are threatened by or have difficulty coping with
situations that are ambiguous, where change occurs rapidly or unpredictability,
where information is inadequate or unclear, or where complexity exists”
(Whetten & Cameron, 2008, p. 62). In a business world, change can occur
quickly, and information can lack clarity. Through this program, I have learned
to be effective as a leader; I must be more adaptive to change… I must become
more comfortable with instability.
I believe my most prominent change has occurred in the area
of core self-evaluation. One negative characteristic I have always had looming
over me is self-doubt. I have never believed that I was good enough for
anything, and believed a failure was inevitable. Whetten and Cameron (2008) listed self -esteem
as one of the four components making up positive self-regard (the degree that
people value themselves or feel capable as individuals). When I began college
at Mississippi State, I believed I was going to fail. That self-doubt followed me
to Florida as I believed for about the first year that my firing was certain.
Recently, my self-doubt nearly caused me not to begin the
pursuit of my Masters. Though I was looking forward to the positive changes the
program could have on me, I was also terrified. As I watched my girlfriend
compose deep discussions and amazing blogs, I thought to myself that I would
never succeed in the program. Over the
last three classes, the program has taught me that I can succeed and has begun
to remove the cloud of self-doubt that has followed me for years.
Whetten & Cameron (2008) mentioned that when individuals
see themselves in a positive way, they seem to perform more effectively in any
given situation. In my recent performance review, my manager commented that she
had witnessed an increased confidence in my behaviors. I was awarded the
elusive superior rating in several areas of my evaluation, where one superior
was a big deal in past evaluations. I
still have areas of self-doubt, but the program has helped me comprehend that I
am worth more than I previously realized and helped me inch closer to the
person I want to be.
Reference
Whetten, D. & Cameron, K. (2016). Developing management skills (9th ed.).
Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice Hall/Pearson
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